Ten Essential Ways to Keep Your Wife Happy by Scott Weiland

The original story was first published in BLAG Vol. 2 Nø 9 print edition in 2008.


Photography and Introduction by Sarah J. Edwards

Story by Scott Weiland

Art Direction by Sally A. Edwards

Location: Knightsbridge, London


“Quick, get in a cab now! I’ll pay for it at the other end. Bye,” echoes the hasty voice of Jon Jones, Velvet Revolver’s publicist at the end of the phone. I stop everything, grab my camera gear, Sally and flag down the nearest cab.

When a call comes in like this, you always imagine your rock star subject towering over the poor publicist making orders, but this is very much never the reality.

Arriving at the luxury Knightsbridge Hotel, we jump out of the taxi and grab Jon to pay the driver.

Exactly so, my thoughts were not the case. We’re asked to hang out in the hotel bar and wait... And wait we do, six hours in fact. Hungry, but feeling the moment you bite into some food your subject will arrive.

There is then the usual upheaval of where the shoot will be, the timings change and so do the plans. Rather than shoot in the allocated room, we offer it up to photographer, Perou and work some magic with Velvet Revolver’s manager and the hotel staff.

So, yes, six hours later and we’re in the Queen’s private entrance shooting frontman Scott Weiland. It’s not surprising he was late, look at the effort he’s made for the shoot. Stylishly forgivable.

Scott Weiland in person is really nice. Un-rock-starry, laid-back, slightly shy, mellowly enthusiastic and even a reader of BLAG. As he is taking up the Ten Essential advice-giving-role for the issue, we decided to speak on the phone at a later date to give him some time to figure out a subject. However, a couple of weeks later, completely out of the blue, a surprise email arrives with Scott Weiland’s sense of fun in full effect...

Ten Essential Tips To Keep Your Wife Happy

Nø. 1

The first thing that comes to mind are anniversaries. Your wife says “Don’t buy me anything this year. That necklace you just bought me at Christmas was all I wanted.” Or, “Let’s not buy each other gifts this year, instead, let’s go to that new restaurant we’ve been meaning to go to, or maybe spend a couple nights at a hotel at the beach.” WATCH OUT! It’s a ploy, a trick to see if you remembered those Jimmy Choo shoes she showed you in Vogue Magazine three months ago.

Nø. 2

No matter how independent a woman is, they still love to get flowers. Just don’t have your assistant do it (I’ve learnt this the hard way). Try picking them yourself sometime, but not from the neighbour’s garden.

Nø. 3

Oh and did I mention shoes? I’ve come to understand that shoes can make, break or even be the outfit. They have a direct correlation to how she feels about her legs and body. Compliment your wife by telling her you think her shoes make her look sexy. Even surprise her with a new pair, but make sure you get the right size.

Nø. 4

Pick up your own clutter. It’s not your old bachelor pad. It’s not that she’s changed you, it’s just that you’re married and it’s her house now.

Nø. 5

Take at least two vacations without the kids every year. Even if it’s just for a couple nights. This will allow for some much needed sexual healing after endless nights of ‘Mommy, Daddy, can I sleep in your bed?’

Nø. 6

Let weekends be her time to sleep in. That gives the kids (if you have ‘em) play time with Dad. Then bring her tea or coffee in bed so she has some version of peace and quiet to wake up to.

Nø. 7

Ask her how her day was. Very, very important! It shows you actually are interested and care. It took me a while and a few lumps to wrap my head around this one.

Nø. 8

Let her have her own time. Girls need to sort themselves out. Manicures, pedicures, gossip, waxing, (well that’s for us) and basically being able to shop, have lunch and be ‘girls’ with ‘the girls.’ This also means getting away from us for two minutes.

Nø. 9

Don’t buy things, i.e. diamonds, clothes or flowers when you’ve done something wrong. She will buy shit when you’ve done something wrong.

Nø. 10

Tell her you love her after you have sex. It’s easy to say it in heat of the moment, but afterwards, when you’re lying there together is when it counts. Oh...and I almost forgot to mention....Shoes!